This is my last completely free weekend in my apartment. I seriously can't believe it.
I've been putting off packing as long as possible, just because I love this place and packing up makes it seem like it's not mine anymore, and reminds me that I can't really just relax and enjoy living here anymore; I have to get ready to leave in exactly a month.
The goal is to finish the majority of my main packing and cleaning up this weekend, but it's so difficult. How do you pack up 3 years of one's life/accumulated possessions/gifts from friends/precious memories into a limited number of boxes? All of which you will have to send home at a hefty cost? I talked to my parents today and even though I knew this, my dad reminded me to only pack the things I really needed, not to bring home things I can get at home.
But the thing is, the more I clean and pack, the more I realize it's hard to throw things away. One of my goals is to seriously streamline my possessions (they're just things, after all...) but when monetary value, i.e. hard-earned money that I've spent, and memories are attached to these possessions, parting with them becomes really difficult. I'm trying hard to be as ruthless as possible, but sometimes I wish someone could just come in here and burn everything in the apartment, just so I wouldn't have to see everything and deal with it. I found that if I'm not looking at the stuff, I don't think about it and don't remember it. I swear to myself that I have to cut down on the things I buy from now on. Shopping for things is the same, I think: if I don't go out window shopping, don't look at magazines and new fashions on the internet, I don't crave shopping and don't need to buy anything. Damn advertising and ever-changing merchandise! I guess the solution here is to just stay holed up where I live and never go out, right?
I have currently filled two boxes with only clothes. I wish I didn't care so much, I would just get rid of everything. But for some reason, I worry about whether I will regret throwing things away later (it's happened before, especially with clothes), or whether the things I own can be considered cool and unique, and so I should bring them home. I wish I didn't care what I wore, I wish people in general didn't care about fashion, in cases like this that require paying to ship things across an ocean. I even went online to see what kinds of things people back in the States are wearing right now, so that I would know what to keep and what to get rid of, isn't that ridiculous?
When I get home, I'm going to try to cut down on the amount of possessions I have stored in my room at my parents' house as well. New Goal: Own less possessions, Be less materialistic. When it comes to clothes, have a few set outfits and let those few outfits set the tone for your style. I am going to simplify. Less is more. After all, it's just stuff, right? When I die, it will all get thrown away anyway, right?
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