Why do I always have to be the one to do it? Why can't I just reap the benefits of someone else's work?

I think I have finally hooked him, started to break him. It took a stupid break up letter, and I felt completely in control of the situation. When I figured out that he wasn't coming after me, I came back in under the guise of looking for something. I played my part and told him how I felt. I feel like all boys need to know that they are being completely immature and stupid. I feel like immature men put themselves first and are selfish and self-centered. I read/heard somewhere that women have to mold their men into what they want them to be. They need to learn to appreciate you, make you their priority. Which is why I HATE that he won't give up smoking. And wouldn't be so damn dependent on alcohol. I feel like if he really cared about me he would quit. That is really the only thing that is keeping this from being perfect. I want to leave him for it, but the thing is, I know that he would just let me go. And then resent me for leaving him. Dumbass.